Teachers

A new term and a new teacher, Lindsay arrives. She can outdrink the boys, and Brian in particular thinks she's brilliant, until Kurt convinces him that she fancies him.

Penny's self-obsession and self-pity have reached such dizzying new heights that she's driving everyone insane. Bored to tears with her moaning, Lindsay finally cracks.

Kurt thinks his luck with the ladies is changing. At parents' evening he meets a woman he reckons he has a good chance of pulling. As usual, however, his judgement in these matters isn't perfect.

Bob's wife throws him out of the house and moves her boyfriend in. For the first time, Liz takes pity on this dishevelled wreck. But a combination of pity and alcohol can have surprising results.

Lindsay is about to turn 30, which is fine, until everyone points out that 30 is very old. What's the best way to handle being 30? Grow old with grace and start acting your age, or the exact opposite?

Half the staff are off with stress, leaving the other half even more stressed. In a desperate bid to relieve the pressure, Clare assigns them all a stress partner, which proves very stressful.

There's something disturbing in the air. A stranger, with a sinister beard, is lurking by the perimeter fence. But it turns out that he's not so strange after all.

The English department is left without a head when Bob is taken in for emergency surgery, and Clare decides that, whether he likes it or not, Matt is the ideal choice to act as Bob's replacement.

The teachers are depressed that none of them are in a functional relationship, until Liz points out that Brian and Kurt are as good as married. But Brian thinks that Kurt is taking advantage of him.

Students and parents have been complaining about Lindsay, and she's ended up with a formal warning. So she's going to transform herself into 'superteacher', with help from an unlikely guru: Bob.

Brian's obsessed with Eileen - the only good-looking dinner lady in the world - and when Bob starts complaining loudly about the canteen food, Brian has to stand up for his dream woman.

When Brian and Kurt race each other to school, Kurt's desire to win results in injury. Brian's attempts to administer first aid only serve to make things worse and Kurt ends up in a wheelchair.

Love, lust and general weirdness are in the air. Penny's started a new romance, Clare's getting frisky - and in a drunken moment Matt and Lindsay find themselves snogging.